An interesting passage from CGP Grey’s blog post on having died many times.
I picked my college, in part, because only one other person from my high school applied — and I took great joy when learning of their rejection. Total isolation was oxygen for the pyre. The slow-burn of time would have killed high-school me eventually — but I wanted high-school me to die faster.https://www.cgpgrey.com/blog/i-have-died-many-times
Over time, we have all changed in many different ways. You could even say that your past self has died and left this world a long time ago, which means your present self will die soon enough, leaving your future self wondering who your present self is, much like how your present self sees your past self.
The thing about the passage I’ve quoted above is that I feel exactly the same way. I, too, wanted my high-school self to die a faster death, which was why I initially decided on an unlikely university. Since then, I’ve long graduated from university and it’s been around half a decade since I started working in the industry, and once again, I feel this strong urge to kill myself yet again. To get away from all this and start fresh somewhere else. Perhaps that’s why I’ve always wanted to travel and live in different countries. But for now, I guess this blog will serve as a starting point.